I just ended the day reading The Jesus Storybook Bible to you. We read “God Sends Help” about how He sent the Holy Spirit to be the disciples’ Helper and dwell in them…how He lit a fire in their hearts and they weren’t afraid anymore. You stopped me at this point and said, “Wait Mummy, I have a question!” and you said in your I’m-being-very-serious-I’ve-thought-about-this voice, “Sometimes Mummy, I feel this flutter inside my heart…and I think it’s Jesus in there…Jesus in my tummy…” And you let it hang there, a question in the air…waiting for me to affirm the presence of the Living God with you, inside you…
From where I was sitting (well, lying), I didn’t realize at first what was happening. The cares of the day and the thoughts bombarding my anxious busy mind threatened to drown out the quiet profundity of this moment, and the door that God was flinging wide open right in front of my face…if I would just open my eyes and see it! How often I have prayed in your 3.5 years of life for you to desire Christ…for you to see Him as glorious as He is…for you to see your sin and your need for the Saviour…for you to call upon the name of the Lord and be saved. And here it was – the moment I’d prayed for – at the moment I least expected it.
“Well sweetie,” I replied, “Have you ever asked Jesus to come into your life…to change your heart…to make you a new person?”
You furrowed your brow, classic “Kloosterman frown” style, and though for a moment before responding with a concerned, “No…?”
Me: “Do you want to pray and ask Jesus to come into your life?”
You: (emphatically and excitedly) “Yes!!!”
Me: “Ok, well you can repeat this prayer after me…”
I carefully chose each line, and you eagerly, clearly and with understanding repeated after me, articulating the following:
-that you believe in Jesus
-that you know He died on the cross for your sins
-that He didn’t stay dead but is alive
-that you want Him to come into your life and change your heart.
– that you are sorry for your sins (worded as “the things you do wrong”) and want Him to forgive you
– that you want to live for His glory
After we said “Amen” you made the excited noise you make when we’re about to do something that delights you (like go for doughnuts with Daddy or to Finn and Levi’s house) and you displayed genuine joy and excitement that you had asked Jesus to be your Saviour.
Now you’re fast asleep and this Mama is struggling to process what just happened…weeping tears of joy at the miracle I just witnessed…praying that you would bear much fruit in keeping with repentance and that our gracious God would carry onto completion the work He has started in your little heart…praying that He would use you (and me, and Daddy) to lead your baby sister to Him too…and thankful that He is so good to us, even in spite of us.
You see, today I was far from a good Mummy. Today I was irritable, quick to become angry, and very self-centered. In fact, I would say this was by far one of my worst days not only as your Mum, but as a Christian…as a Christ follower called to represent Him on the earth.
How often I fall short of all He’s called me to. How quickly I choose disobedience over obedience…wandering away instead of remaining faithful.
Yet this unexpected miracle with you tonight has reminded me that, even when we are faithless, He remains faithful (2 Tim. 2:13). He is GOOD. His steadfast love endures forever and His faithfulness to all generations (Psalm 100:5).
By His grace and with His strength, “I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations.” (Psalm 89:1)
God is faithful, Gracie. Welcome to His family. May you taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8).